Here is my list of things to consider when preparing for and navigating tough conversations.
A couple of weeks ago in my blog post I encouraged leaders to have the tough and difficult conversations, as I believe it is necessary in leadership.
Today, I am sharing tangible tips for those tough discussions.
Here are Tips 1-6 today. Tips 7-11 will come next week!
1. What is the outcome that you would like? Be specific.
Two questions can be asked to help get specific while you’re prepping. First, is there a simple solution? Second, what would make you happy or feel better about the situation?
2. Reflect on their perspective, without making assumptions.
Do your best to put yourself in their shoes, but try not to make too many assumptions about said person. When imagining yourself in their position continue to ask the question, is this this factual?
3️. Practice the scenario/conversation (3 options) in your head or with a friend.
When having these tough conversations, there usually is only 3 ways that the conversation will go. They might agree with you and find a solution. They might disagree and disengage. They might disagree and escalate. Think through each scenario, how would you respond and what would you say?
4️. Make a bullet point list (if possible).
Having a bullet point list of the main topics you need to cover is important. Bring the list to the meeting, and do your best to stick to those bullet point and not go on tangents. If tangent topics come up, saying “This is something I will need time to consider, can we follow up on this topic” or “could you explain to me how this relates to our conversation?” is okay.
5️. Stay away from absolute language.
Using words and phrases like 'you always' or 'you never' usually escalates the conversation or can bring up defense mechanisms. Using language and phrases like 'sometimes' or 'on occasion' or 'I have observed' is better.
6. Remain calm, breathe.
Be mindful of your breathing. This will help keep you more calm even when you become frustrated, flustered, or extremely uncomfortable. Do your best to never raise your voice even if the other person does.
Thank you to La Crosse Area Chamber of Commerce for allowing me to present and discuss these tips at their most recent Young Professionals Lunch n’ Learn!
Week 21 of 52
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