Tough conversations are a requirement of being a leader.
They have to happen.
Many times it is for accountability purposes.
Other times it is figure out what is happening within a team dynamic.
And sometimes it is sporadic, unannounced, and unplanned.
But the tough conversations still have to happen.
When I was coaching high school girls basketball I had one athlete that had some mental health issues.
She actually had taken time away from the team to get help and treatment because she was thinking about harming herself.
I am thankful and glad she had the courage to get the help she needed.
We welcomed her back on the team and she was able to begin practicing again.
However, she had missed a full week's worth of practices and prep time for our next game and opponent.
Even though she had missed some time, I had every intention of playing her in the next game. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. It was a very close game and many of our bench players barely even got into the game, her being one of them.
She was devastated.
She wanted to feel valued - valued as a person, valued on the team. And because she didn't get to play that night she didn't feel valued. What a tough thought process that had to be for someone already working extremely hard on their mental health..
With tears in her eyes she approached me after the game asking why she didn't get to play.
And in that moment, I knew that this tough conversation could be one of the most important ones in my life and in her life.
What I would say next to her in that moment could change the course of her life.
Before I answered, I took a few moments to try and put myself in her shoes.
We talked about how she was feeling coming back to school, how things were going being back with the team in practices. I even asked how I could do a better job in helping her in these situations. After some discussion, we then moved into talking about the game that had just happened that night.
I told her about the complexities of the game plan, and how she had missed nearly all of that prep time. And even though it was no fault of her own, other players were better prepared and had earned the opportunity.
I assured her that through her continued hard work and dedication, the same that she had showed throughout the entire season, that she would be back playing again (I truly believde in her and that it would be the case.)
The conversation was productive and good. She walked away feeling heard and valued and with something to look forward to.
It would have been easy to completely walk away from this conversation and say "We can talk tomorrow before practice."
I am glad I did not do that.
I am glad I had the tough conversation right then and there.
Leadership isn't always about being creative, having innovative ideas, or being inspiring.
Many times, it is about navigating and having the tough conversations.
Week 19 of 52
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